MyScratchOff

Horror Dating Story

horror-datingOne night, bored out of my skin and unable find anyone to go out with, I had given in and was getting ready for bed. I was just about to step into the shower when my phone lit up, it was my friend johnny. he was bored as well and wondered if I wanted to go out. Well hell yes I wanted to, so I drove over and got him. we went to my favorite Michigan bar the Roche. we had a few drinks and totally commandered the jukebox. all was going well. See when I date men, I make it clear that i won’t sleep with them for taking me out. Most of them respect that, and I had known Jon for so long, so it wasn’t weird. so here we are about a six pack into our night when i went to re-up on music on the jukebox. i was totally absorbed in the music, I hadn’t noticed the girl standing there until she said, “oh wow placebo, I love them”. harmless comment i thought and was like oh yeah, this is the only jukebox in this city that has them on it. she offered to buy our next round and i noticed Jon was talking to some guy. it was her boyfriend. ok well, I think, free drinks I can dig this, but in the back of my mind I thought, man they seem like they’re trying to get us really drunk.. but like I said free drinks, plus she had good taste in music.


we all four drank together and were having a nice time. I was closing time and they invited us over for more drinks.  initially was like oh, stranger danger! not safe… but i was with Jon, he is over 6 foot and built like a linebacker, so I thought alright he will keep us from being killed and eaten. we followed them to their house. once inside i noted it was a drab house with scant furnishings and some almost phallic paintings on the walls. Weird but we sat down and opened our beers. I sat next to Jon on the couch and the girl sat on the other side of him. Her boyfriend sat on a rolling computer chair, in front of me. We talked about music, art and good books. It was during our conversation I felt Jon scoot closer to me and I noticed the girl reaching to rest her hand on his leg. I thought “well that’s ballsy since they seem to think Jon and I are an “item”, and her mans sitting right here??” I looked at her boyfriend and he glanced over at her attempts with Jon and just smiled and leaning forward, towards me, he nodded. It was then Jon and I exchanged glances. I could read my own thoughts in his eyes. He nodded at me, stood up and said, “well its really late, and I have to get home, Dee are you ready?” I was totally ready, no way I wanted to be there alone. We walked as fast as we could without looking odd, and made it outside. They had followed us out the door and were offering for us to come by again, soon.
“Right, right..” I said, not willing to confirm another date with them. We got in my Jeep and I raced away.
It was outside of Jons house when we finally spoke.
“Jon, I… I think, maybe that uhh wow, I think they were..” I began. “Swingers.” He confirmed in one word. “They think we were a couple and they were hoping we’d have some wild orgy, no offence Dee, I wouldn’t destroy a friendship by sleeping with you, let alone with you and two strangers. I hope you didn’t want to either, but it seemed like you knew what I was thinking, that’s why I offered we should go…NOW.” he finished in a rush.
Audibly I let out the air I was holding, hoping, praying that was his line of thought. “No Jon, I wanted out of there as much as you did, good job reading my mind.” I said. Then we both began laughing. We laughed at the embarrassment, the shock, and the oh wow did that just happen situation. Once recovered from our outburst Jon climbed out, he turned back and said, “But for what it’s worth I had a decent time, prior to the sex freaks, keep in touch, but next time I pick the bar.”  I had never before been in a situation like this before, to be nearly propositioned by swingers, nor have I since. We never saw the gruesome twosome again, but I will always recall that night. I am very careful about the people in bars I talk to now and unless Jon is there I won’t go to anyones house unless I know them. Any other man may have been all for it, but not Jon. For that he earns coolness points beyond all others. Remaining my safest friend to go out with.

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